RELATIONSHIP TIPS: BUILDING LASTING RELATIONSHIPS

Anyone can almost guess what first comes to mind when the word 'relationship' is mentioned. Everyone thinks of that special thing between a man and a woman who really love each other and are committed to each other. Yeah, that's a relationship because every one wants to experience love for love is the essence of relationships. But a relationship could mean more than what exists between two persons who are in love with each other. We ought to remember that the term relationship is a general word which describes a connection between different people and even animals. There is a relationship that exists between a person and their pet, between a person and their parents, between a person and their boss at work etc.

There are basically three types of relationships. The first is what I call the VERTICAL RELATIONSHIP. This is a kind of relationship that only exist between God the Creator of all and with man whom He has given dominion over all other things that were created. This relationship should be the very first which man should build and hold strong because without it man is as good as lost and has no basis for his life.

The Second type of relationship is what I call the WITHIN RELATIONSHIP, that which we have with ourselves. This relationship is paramount. It's the very first step into having lasting relationships with others. It involves knowing who you really are, appreciating your God endowed uniqueness, building yourself with the right values and reflecting a kind of self image that draws others to you. One simple way to love others is by first loving yourself, accepting who you are, working at getting better in all areas, not comparing with others or condemning yourself over the things you seem to lack. It's true to a great extent that first loving yourself helps you to properly love others. You can't give what you do not have.

The third type of relationship has quite a number of facets and is what I call the HORIZONTAL RELATIONSHIP. It's one we have with our fellow human beings. In it we have the relationship with family members which is the very first we come to meet in this world as babies and children, although some are deprived of it. Relationship with family members has a solid role to play in helping us work towards building lasting relationships with people who do not fall under our biological family classification. The second facet is a friendship relationship which could be just casual, platonic or much deeper, as in the case of close friends or best friends. The main difference between each of these is the level of trust, affection, respect, openness and selflessness that exists between or among the persons involved.

Now the third and last aspect of the horizontal kind of relationships is one which comes to the minds of majority of people especially young people when the word 'relationship' is mentioned today. I call it the intimate relationship. This type can only function well between just two persons and can only be fully expressed and enjoyed in God's institution called marriage between two persons of opposite gender. These two in this intimate relationship are not just connected only in trust, affection, respect and all you can think of but also connected deeply emotionally. I believe that in this connection between these two all the expressions of love should be present (agape, phileo, sterego and eros).

Having generally stated the kinds of relationship that are in existence, let's look at what can help us build them.

1) Define the type of relationship you have with someone. This helps to give clarity, meaning and it helps you know the direction and purpose if the relationship.

2) Choose to accept people the way they are for none is perfect. We all have our share of strengths and flaws.

3) Communicate your thoughts and feelings to those you believe won't judge you or be hard on you. This way you can prevent misunderstandings. Understand that no one can read people's minds.

4) Build qualities in yourself that you admire in people. Anyone could be trustworthy, forgiving, loyal, straightforward, dependable, respectful, selfless, inspiring and a person of integrity. These are qualities that can make and build solid relationships. It's just a matter of making up your mind, choosing to change and working at it. Until you work nothing will work.

5) It's important we understand our different makeup. By that I mean men should really understand the dynamics of a woman and women should know about men. This understanding offers a great deal of help when it comes to first building close friendships with the opposite sex, and then intimate or love relationships.

6) Know and understand who you in Christ, your mission on earth and God's purpose for your life. This will help you attract the right persons and keep some as friends, few as good/close friends and also help you connect with a special person as your life partner.

7) Be yourself. Be your branded, continuously worked upon and valued self. Good friendships or lasting relationships are not built on superficial activities, qualities or possessions. They are built on real personalities, values and virtues that don't come cheap or feigned.


Keep Loving, Keep Living................LOVE ISSUES.
@bibilovejunkie