Just as we all have goals in our personal lives in order to become better in our pursuits and endeavours, it's somewhat necessary also that goals are set for our relationships with family, friends and most importantly, your lover. It's appropriate to set goals for the success, longevity and continuous bliss of the relationship.
No two individuals can have the same upbringing and/or character. In a marriage you have different persons with different values and experiences that have shaped them over the years; these persons come together and bond due to the love that exists between them. Truly, being in love is so beautiful but time and again, I have seen that love isn't enough to keep a relationship going strong and standing firm through the test of time.
Especially in marriage, we need to master how to keep our relationships enjoyable and exciting. It is said that falling in love requires a pulse but staying in love requires a plan. In other words, an inner impulse may make you love someone dearly but you need more than that initial impulse to keep loving that person the same way and even more. You need plans that are well thought over and prayed over. These are the plans that will take your relationship to "the promised land" of unending happiness and love.
For those who are unmarried, first and foremost, I'd like to state here that in other not to have your emotional tank drained by being in and out of relationships, it's better you take your time to painstakingly develop your values all round. Read and study materials about what true love is about, on relationships and marriage so that when it's time to settle with someone, you would have done your homework, you'll be able to choose right and you'll get the very best out of the well of knowledge that has been built up on your inside over time.
"This could be us but..." That's one cliche that is often used nowadays and most times it's used to depict something negative, a broken relationship. Today my goal is to replace that cliche with, "This can be us because..." I want to drop some points that can help each of us have something to work towards in bringing the right atmosphere in our relationships. I am convinced that if we do these things we can have more successful relationships and marriages. I encourage you to build your relationship goals around these things.
1)SPEND MORE HEALTHY TIME TOGETHER: With better time management skills and motivation, one can easily make time to spend with their partner such as having a picnic in the park, taking a walk together, enjoying a romantic candlelight dinner, or participating in an event that you both share interest in. Doing anything that makes both of you involved together or with other friends, as long as it's healthy. Spend time playing and having fun. Spend time together. This helps to strengthen your relationship. For those who have distance between them, the next point can be well utilized.
2) CLEARLY COMMUNICATE: A common error couples make is holding on to offences and not talking about how they have felt hurt over something that happened. When unhappy emotions are bottled up they can swell into much bigger problems that usually lead to an outburst that could have been prevented. Communicating about anything and everything helps immeasurably to strengthen the bond between couples. Quite unfortunately, lots of people in neglect this simple part in their relationships with others, their spouse, sweetheart, family members etc. In your love relationship, communicate with everything possible and frequently. It has ways of keeping the flames of love alive.
3). STAY TRUTHFUL: At all times in the beginning and at all points of any relationship, it is quite important to keep the lines of communication fresh, open, and truthful. Don't lie or stretch the truth to someone you have just met in order to impress them. This is not the way to have a good start because suppressed emotions and thoughts may surface if you desire more than a friendship later in future. If you clearly know what you want in a relationship, you stand to enjoy much successful results. Staying truthful builds trust between partners and acts as a glue in your relationship. Set goals of truthfulness in your relationships. Say the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Hide nothing. In the truth is where you find the safest place to stay.
4) MAKE PHYSICAL IMPROVEMENTS: Some folks believe they will experience a better relationship when they improve a part of their body or physique, maybe or maybe not. It is also through the achievement of these goals that men and women feel better about themselves sometimes, which is turn, enhances the connection they share with their loved one. This somehow shows the need for cosmetic surgeries. If you have a problem that can be corrected medically, it's not wrong to get medical help. However, I am against over obsession with trying to look certain ways. Be content with who you are. The problem isn't how people look really, it's often their ingratitude and low self esteem. I am a doctor, so, I cannot be against the roles doctors play. Yes, staying young at heart and fit in your body can do a whole lot to enhance your relationship. If you think it isn't true, then ask the 61 year old business magnum why he got married to a 25 years old. It's okay to set goals for your physical improvement.
5) LISTEN MORE: Many relationships end up unhappy because one or more of those involved do not take the time to listen to the other person(s). This results in miscommunication and lack of understanding. One of the best gifts to give your partner is to lend an ear when they need to express themselves and also your attention. In improving the way you listen, many conflicts and arguments can become easily avoidable. People want to be heard, they do not want to be shut down or ignored. When you make people feel they have nothing if value to say, you're demoralizing them. They feel undervalued and unwanted. Listening to people talk, making people realise that what they say matters to you and paying attention as they speak, all go a long way to tell them you love them and care about them. Incorporate this in your goals.
6) PRAISE: Everyone wants their praise to be sang that's because there's something inside of us that desires it. Of course, this may be idolatrous when done is excess but it's appropriate to appreciate people. It pleases God. There's no better way to love and appreciate your partner other than to let the world know your proud of being theirs. We'll, I don't need to say much about this as social media such as instangram and Facebook have made it a whole lot easier. However, besides the whole appreciation we do for public consumption, learning to practically appreciate your partner/spouse one-to-one will do more things than you can imagine. Instead of complaining, find all the good things about them and begin to appreciate them for being good at these things. Make goals in this line.
Remember that it takes a plan to stay in love. You've got to take responsibility and be deliberate about it. I hope these few things I have shared can get us started on the journey to a more fulfilling relationship and marriage.
Keep Loving, Keep Living...............LOVE ISSUES
@Bibilovejunkie
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