The world we live in is a fast one. Almost every day of our lives today is geared by technology which has further increased the pace of our day to day activities. For instance, because a lot of people are so busy with work, shuffling between 2-3 jobs a week to cater for themselves and family, they end up seeking and using various social media platforms in order to stay connected with their loved ones. But is this really sufficient; after all, it is said that out sight is out of mind and it leads to poor outcomes on our relationships.
Having a few good friends is a pre-requisite for a successful life. This is because our relationships could be a source of help and blessings; although they could also be damaging. It's one thing to get good friends and another to keep them. Keeping good friends could be pretty challenging especially when faced with work, business, family and school or even when separated by distance, so how do we go about sticking together with friends for such a long time even with all the barriers that exist?
1) Categorize Your Friends: it is important to know exactly where your friends stand in your scale of preference. You can achieve this by placing them in different categories. This is what I call a friendship ladder, having the most points at the top and the least at the bottom. This does not in any way demean your relationship with these people, it just helps you prioritize. There are those friends who only show up in your life every once-in-a-while and especially when they need something from you, these are to be placed at the bottom rung of the ladder. Platonic friends or acquaintances should be on the middle ring while those friends who always have your back in and out of season, wanting to see the best come out of you, belong on the top rung. This is important so as not to have unhealthy expectations and make yourself unnecessarily vulnerable but still having love that wishes the best for them all at the different levels.
2) Find Time: after you have carefully sorted out where your friendships lie, it is important to give good time to strengthen those friendships and relationships that are high on your priority list. It is said that no matter how busy one is, they always give attention to the things that are important. Create time to be together, cultivate or keep your relationship waxing stronger. Do what it takes to make them feel free to reach you for anything at any time. The strength of your friendship lies on how long and committed both of you have been and that's a function of the bond you two have created over time.
3) Make Them Comfortable: trust in friendship grows only when they know you have got their backs. Accepting your friends completely for who they are makes them feel safe with you. This tells them you are aware that no one is perfect and they can trust you enough to relate with you without any fears or feelings of discomfort. Let them have their space at times although this depends on how well you understand your friends and know those who want to always have you connected to them. Every relationship deserves an amount of alone time to get along well.
4) Keep your Expectations low: this doesn't mean you shouldn’t expect certain things from your friendships but keeping your expectations at a level where you’re not disappointed when they aren’t met. It only means you are wise enough to be at the giving end knowing that the more you give your resources in your relationship the more you attract others to wanting a relationship with you, besides the respect and admiration that comes with it.
5) Accept it: all great friendship are mutually beneficial. When you find that you really would like someone to be a good or close friend to you and you have taken the time to show it to them yet they do not seem keen on reciprocating nor appear to be interested in the relationship, accept it and move on. Friendship isn't a thing to enforce on any one but it's of a free will, after all it takes two to tango.
6) Celebrate Them: Everyone likes praises. Be ready to celebrate your friends’ successes and praise them for it. When they get something new, be it a new shirt, or a new job, a car, be there for them. Be the kind of friend they can share both their burdens and their joys with. Also, be lavish with compliments.
7) Readily Forgive: Mistakes are bound to happen, misunderstandings are sure to occur but friendship thrives even in the midst of these when one, or better yet, both are always willing to let go of wrongs and faults and forgive, giving room for more closeness and bonding.
8) Give Surprises: Most people love surprises especially in friendship. Give them things or gifts that they absent minded mentioned some time ago. Actions like this breeds love and acceptance.
9) Be Open: this tends to make one vulnerable, yes, but you can do it with a little caution. Be honest enough to tell them when they hurt you or when you have something to say that you know could help them. Honesty pays and expels any form of pretence which destroys relationships. So let it out with love and see your relationship soar.
10) Pray for Them: there are many things we might get wrong in our relationships but we can never get it wrong when we pray for our friends. Prayer helps you to bless your friends in your thoughts, actions as well as in your words. When you love your friends, you would talk to God about them and pray that the mind of God about them becomes a reality.
Having friends in life is indispensable. Life would be been so uninteresting without friends. Even God's word acknowledges how important friends are when it said “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Prov 17:17). Do what it takes to make your friendships work, no matter how little effort you seem to put into it, and you will surely reap the fruits.
Keep Loving, Keep Living.......LOVE ISSUES.
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