COMPATIBILITY OVER PASSION.

We present to you today excerpts from the just concluded The Relationship School Conference which held online.

We had 6 countries represented and Nigeria having the largest attendance. It was such a meeting to remember as participants were so glad they attended and are seriously hoping for the next edition.

We implore everyone to make the next edition as just a few excerpts will be posted here. Stay lifted.

Excerpts from The Relationship School event teaching.


1. YOU DON'T HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED

I know this comes as a surprise to many reading this because all our lives we've been brought up to believe that someone has to first fall in love and then, marry.

The question we should ask is, from where did this idea come? Is that how God says it should be?

I found out the answers to these questions as a young man and it made my life easy and sweet.

I laid hold on the truth and it made me free!!!

It's not wrong if it happens that you love someone before you marry the person. Of course, some level of physical attraction is important. But it is wrong to say you must have to have strong feelings of love for someone before you can go ahead to marry the person.

That you have strong feelings of love for someone is not a guarantee that you should marry that person.

Listen, God never told the man to marry who he loves. Rather God told the man to love who he marries.

These two are not the same thing.

Marrying who you love is marrying the person you fell in love with. Loving who you marry is making a decision/choice to love the person you marry (this has nothing to do with whether or not there were strong feelings of love for the person before you married that person).

There's a very sharp and distinct difference between being in love and choosing to love as there is between day and night.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives.

God is telling the man in the above scripture that from the moment you marry a woman, you're under obligation to love that woman.

Why is God saying this?

One of the reasons is because falling in love first before marriage wasn't the way marriage was done.

It still isn't the way it should be done. Love is first and foremost a choice a person makes.

The assignment God gives a man in this regard is not to marry who he loves but to love who he marries

Notice that in the above verse God didn't mention whether or not the man feels like loving her. This is because the feeling of love is not as important as the decision to love. The decision to love is what will give rise to the feeling of love.

When God brought Eve to Adam, we're not told anywhere in Genesis Chapter 2 that Adam was in love with Eve or that Eve fell in love with Adam.

Why were we not told that?

Very simple.

That information is not necessary or important in the launch of the marriage equation.

Two persons can marry each other as long as there's a bit of attraction. They don't have to be in love to marry.

Now people live from outside in. They want to feel they're in love first of all before they commit. But we are to live from inside out. We are to decide (or choose to love) or commit first and after that, the feelings will catch up with the choice we have made to love.

The Spirit of God bears witness with the spirit of man. It's on the inside you get the knowing. Don't find it in your body. Function from inside out, not from outside in.

The man should follow this principle and when a faithful man comes to you, as a woman you should also follow this principle. If you both have the witness in your hearts, go ahead and make plans to marry even if you don't have the strong feelings of love for each other at the start.

I Corinthians 13 tells us love is what we do. Love is an action. As you do the actions of love in 1 Corinthians 13 to each other, the feelings of love will rise up so strong on your inside and sweep both of you off your feet.

ADAM AND EVE
Adam married Eve because she was a helper suitable for him. He didn't marry Eve because he fell in love with Eve.

He married Eve because she was the one God brought to him as a helper - to help him fulfil the task God gave him.

As a man, you've got to be able to discern the lady God has brought into your space to be your helper in the fulfilment of the life assignment God has given you.

Godly men marry on the basis of whether or not the woman in question is suitable for the purpose and assignment God has given to the man, not because the man fell in love with the woman.

As a matter of fact, a godly single man will not marry a woman he has strong feelings of love for, except he has an inner witness that this woman is also a helper who's suitable for him in the fulfilment of his life assignment from God.

Godly men don't follow the hotness of a lady's body. They choose a woman based on the virtue of her character and an inner witness that she's suitable for the fulfilment of his assignment.

One of the reasons for the errors people make is because they wanna first fall in love first as a determinant factor before deciding to marry because they think it must be so.

2.NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF RELATIONSHIPS

As Myles Munroe of blessed memory said,  "We study for every other job on the planet except the most important one of all, the job of making the oldest institution - marriage work."

You'll agree that it all starts from making relationships work because its the foundation you build in your relationships that would give a solid build up in marriage.

But then, just like how every thing rises and falls on leadership in life, in this matter of relationships, everything rises and falls on You.

Yes, You

You can not have solid relationship with others if you do not have a sound relationship with yourself.

The quality of relationships you build are directly proportional to the quality of knowledge you have about yourself and more importantly, knowledge of who God says you are.

Now let's narrow it down to relationships, I mean love relationships,  that which we all want to experience, one that could lead to a marriage relationship.

Like I said earlier, the Key to any successful relationship is knowledge.

Knowledge of who you are, what your purpose is on earth, your assignment, your passion which is rooted in knowing "Purpose"

A lot of people often get it all mixed up and end at crossroads all because they pursued Love relationships without finding who they really are, who God say they are.

You can't put the cart before the horse and expect to get to your destination, no. You will be stagnant

Until the right thing is done, no progress happens.

Many often make mistakes, go round and round same mistake from different angles till they give up.

All due to lack of really knowing who they are.

The period of being single or as a single is of utmost importance.

For those of you still single, rejoice for now is the time to learn and build the foundation of your life with  knowledge.

Being single is not a problem or a disease as many view it no matter how old one is.

It's the best part of one's life.

God didn't create us as pairs or as married couples. He made Adam single then gave him responsibility of tendering the garden before bringing Eve into his life.

Listen friends, the quality of your singleness determines the quality of your marriage.