What Love Really Costs: Conviction

A Practical Lesson on Conviction
Sometime ago I was in a friend's place and we were trying to work on something. I held the device but didn't know how to open it. I had my hands in the right places but because I wasn't sure if that was how to go about it, I didn't put in the pressure and force required to open it. I had my hands in the right place, I was going about it the right way but I ultimately failed to get it opened because I was not sure if I was correct about the way I was opening it.

We later discovered that was the right way to open it. Someone came along and just opened it rather easily the very same way I was going about it. I was doubting if I was right and didn't put in the required effort because I was afraid of damaging it. This person on the other hand, was sure that was how to open it. He had no fear of damaging it. He simply put the right amount of effort and within seconds, got the result I had wanted to get.

That experience brought a great lesson to light. You know, that is exactly how life is. When we are not certain about a thing, that uncertainty affects how much of our effort we commit to it. We hesitate to put in our best because we expect our efforts to be no good. In our minds we do not see it working, so, our efforts are lame. Eventually it ends up not working, not because it could not have worked, but because we didn't put in the required type of effort to make it work.


Why Relationships and Marriages Fail
A conviction is a firmly held belief. It's that state of being convinced. The effort which produces success in any area of life can only emanate from a heart saturated with conviction; a certainty that it's going to work. This is why we say success is not an accident and no accident is a success. If it's success, then it begins from the mind. On the inside, the individual sees it working already before it works on the outside. Many relationships and homes have failed because the persons in love with each other didn't act out of conviction. Their minds were not dedicated to seeing it work.

As long as one or both persons who are engaged or married doubt if the other person is right for them, as long as they're not sure if they're supposed to be in that relationship, there will be problems. They won't give their best to each other and to the relationship because their minds are not focused on success. Sooner or later, the relationship would invariably fail. When they put in their effort, they could not do their best. They made efforts but the efforts failed because they were not coming out of a conviction.

The man was not sure if he had made the right choice. He still had his mind thinking the other girl would have been better. He was always comparing when he looked at his fiancée/wife. The woman too was unhappy that she chose this man. She had left Sodom but turned back in her heart. Somehow she could not seem to get her mind off what it would have been like if she remained there. Their lack of conviction displayed itself in their dissatisfaction with each other.


I've Made up My Mind
Conviction comes from knowledge. When you know 2+2 = 4, you can boldly use that information to solve similar problems and give your answer in public. You're sure because you know. In the same way, you need to be sure about your spouse. You need to be sure about your partner, otherwise you'll never be able to give your best. Boldness is the natural result of conviction and conviction comes from knowledge. We need people who can boldly give their best to their partner/spouse.

As a believer who's following God's Word, you have to know that your steps are ordered by God. If you're married, then be excited about your spouse. You may not have been in love with her before you married her but now God says, "Husbands love your wives." He's not asking you how you feel about it. He's telling you what to do. He didn't ask you if you were in love before you got married, He's telling you to love her now. God never told the man to marry who he loves, He told the man to love who he marries. So, husband, get excited about her. Love her. Also, cherish her as you do yourself. This is what God says. Tell yourself you've made up your mind about this woman and that you'll give her your best.

You see, love is a decision you make. When God loved us it was a choice He made. Love is first a choice. It will eventually generate feelings but don't wait for the feelings before you love. For the woman it's the same thing. The bible says the older women should teach the younger women to love their husbands. That you were not in love is not relevant now. You must be convinced that this your spouse is a blessing from God. Start doing what God instructs and things will change. You're in the right place. Women are also taught to respect their husbands and to be submissive. Tell yourself you've made up your mind about this man and that you'll give him your best.


You're the One for Me
For the unmarried who are engaged to be married, this conviction must be in your spirit. So much so, that it flows out and affects everything you do. You have followed the wisdom of God and you have chosen in accordance with the wisdom of God which is the Word of God. Now you're sure. You may not have managed the relationship perfectly thus far but you're convinced this is it. You remember you started from a spiritual persuasion. You decide not to throw away that confidence,

No, you're not double minded because you know a person who doubts is like the wave of the sea. He's tossed here and there, unstable in all his ways. This is not you. Your doubts and misgivings have been dissolved as far as this matter is concerned because you walked in the Word. You'll not be fooled into thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. Godliness is what you value and in addition now, you're practising contentment. There's no questioning the fact that you'll reap great gain in your relationship.

Knowing these, now you must dedicate your time, words, energy and resources to seeing your partner becomes everything that God has ordained them to be. You look at them and you tell them you're going to stand by them until they become their best and remain so. You praise them. You tell them many others have done well but they are still better than the best. Together you stand to fulfil destiny. You, your partner and God - you make a threefold cord that cannot be easily broken. Whatever will break you has to first break God because He's the source of your conviction.

Keep Loving, Keep Living...............LOVE ISSUES
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