Service means a whole lot of things to different people. But it's first and foremost an offshoot of the word serve. The concept of serving in a love relationship is completely twisted in the minds of many people, especially in the mind of the average African.
Be Open to New Ideas
Our cultures and customs as Africans, by default seem to place the responsibility of service on the woman alone. We see the woman as the one who should serve. In fact, many men have been programmed to operate as demigods in their relationships/marriage and the woman is seen as the one to bow before this god and do his commands. What a wrong view of life!
Africa is not the only place where ideas are twisted. Several other cultures and peoples in the world have their own versions of very wrong ideas about what service should be and how it should be done in a love relationship. However, let's remember that love and marriage pre-existed Africa and the world's cultures. God is love. The first marriage union was arranged and witnessed by God Himself long before Africa and any other people group evolved.
Let's therefore be willing to abandon our traditions and the ideas we inherited from our cultures and customs, and open our hearts to learn about love from the one who initiated it.
How Service Should Flow
When God initiated the marriage setting, it was part of His plan that the man would serve the woman and that the woman would serve the man. The man was made the leader and the woman was made his helper. Leadership meant that the man should carry more responsibilities and show the way forward.
A true leader is a servant. Leadership isn't what we see in our political scenes today. A leader's concern should be to develop, enhance and bring the ones they lead to greatness. This is what the leader is sent to do. His aim should not be to be great but to make those he leads great. If he can successfully do that he'll find that he himself has unconsciously become great. The point here, is that the leader is not self centered but has his heart centered on the advancement of the one(s) he's leading. This is the man's role in a love relationship.
I could dedicate more space to talking about the man's service in a love relationship but almost everything else can be brought out from what has been said already. When the man understand his leadership role, it will dawn on him that it's nothing short of rendering service to the woman.
The Woman is the One Helping
There's something at this point I feel needs to be understood. In the plan, the Originator said the woman should be the helper. Have you ever seen a skilled mason working? Have you seen a skilled carpenter working? You'll notice that they sometimes go for certain jobs with someone meant to help them as they carry out the job.
Observe them as they work. You'll notice the skilled man is the one who does most of the work. From time to time he may ask the helper to hand him a tool or to help hold something in position. The helper is only there to help. The skilled man does not sit and watch the helper do the job they came to do. No, the helper is a helper. A suitable helper is one who can help the skilled worker efficiently.
Now let's apply this to the marriage setting. The mentality that the woman is to do most of the work while the man orders her around is such a wrong one. We may not like the sound of this but it's true: Every work is the man's work but the woman can be asked to give a helping hand. When she cooks, the man should say thank you because she's helping him do his work. When she washes he should say thank you. The woman is assisting the man get the job done. He's the main worker. The woman is the helper. The man is the owner of the work. Never forget the woman is the one helping. That's how the creator designed it.
Service Should be Mutual
In a place where true love is really at work, each of the couple will compete to serve the other more. There's so much joy in seeing the other person happy. Each one does things that springs surprises for their partner/spouse. They just take pleasure in doing stuff for each other. This is how love ought to be.
The man knows very well that he ought to cherish and take care of the lady. So, he's glad to serve her in more ways than we can even imagine. He thinks up creative ways to do stuff for her and to make her all she should be. He understands he's her leader and that that means carrying more responsibilities, not just in making finance available but in other areas as well. He's aware he has the capacity by design to do these.
The woman knows she's the man's helper by design, so, she'll work at seeing to it that her man has a stress-free life. She'll want to make things easy for him. Like an efficient helper, she does not want to be found lacking anywhere her support should come in. This is what a love relationship should look like.
As you can see, there's no one in the picture sitting in an office chair and giving orders but not lifting a finger. No relationship can succeed that way.
True Love Serves
If you truly love someone you'd serve them and serve them gladly for that matter. If you're single or married and you're still looking for someone to come fall at your feet and lick your toes, you're asleep. The sooner you wake up, the better for you.
We all want to have great relationships. I know you want to. That's the only reason you've read up to this point. Engage this principle of service. Do little things. You'll find they make a big difference. Polish shoes. Fold clothes. Clean the floor. Make meals. Iron clothes. Go on errands. Make the bed. Wash the dishes. Do little things. Just be creative.
Serve, serve and after you think you've really done great serving your partner/spouse, serve some more.
Keep Loving, Keep Living...............LOVE ISSUES
@Bibilovejunkie
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