What Trust is
According to the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, the word trust is said to be a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something which in other words, means the complete knowing that such a one or something can be relied upon without any fear of disappointment. This subject of trust is a tough one for many people and for many reasons. There's no amount of explanation that can sufficiently justify how vital trust is in a relationship.
Trust is the building block of a sound relationship. It has got in it the components of being honest, reliable, dependable and responsible.
These are some of the essential things to build in your life if you want others to trust you. Now let's talk about you trusting your partner/spouse. Trust can be said to be equivalent to being vulnerable to someone, yet being certain that your vulnerability is protected. To trust someone is like you giving that person the key to your life. Yes, building trust within a relationship makes you sort of vulnerable and I'm sure you know that means a lot. Some people never want to be vulnerable.
Trust doesn't just come from the blues, it takes time to build. Trust is like a glue which binds two people together in a love relationship/marriage. I have once said in the past that trust is both the reason for love and the result of love. That is, the reason why you choose to be with someone should be because you see them as someone you can trust. Also, the fact that someone loves you should make you develop yourself into someone they can always trust.
Hope For the Best and Believe The Best
Some people argue that there's no single place in the Bible where we're asked to trust people. They say that instead of being told to trust people, we're told numerous times to trust God. This sent me thinking and searching. I found out that love hopes all things and believes all things. This is trust to me. This means to me that when you love someone you keep hoping for the best of them and believing in them. If this isn't trust, what else is?
A look at the way God deals with us even shows this. He knows we're fallible but He trusts us enough tho be open with us. He has poured out his heart to us and even shows us His plans that have nit yet been executed. Yes, we may never trust anyone as much as we trust God, and we should not, but God expects us to repose some level of confidence in those we love. This is a vital aspect of love.
Developing Trustworthiness
Apart from trusting those we love, God tells us again and again in many different ways to develop trustworthiness in our own lives so we can be people others can trust. It's very important that each of us builds a trustworthy character. Our speech, day-to-day way of life and attitude to promises we make all go a long way to determine the level of our trustworthiness.
I believe that the period where trust can really be established in a relationship is during the friendship period, before marriage. A person who's someone you cannot trust before marriage may not suddenly become trustworthy after being married tho you. By looking at how two persons are faithful to each other before the marriage, you can tell whether or not there'll be faithfulness later. A faithful person is a trustworthy person because faithfulness is synonymous with trustworthiness.
There are people who got married without first knowing each other for so long. Some people even met through someone's recommendation and soon after meeting, chose to marry each other. Whatever was the method through which you met, when you get into a relationship with someone you believe is the person meant for you, it's best for you to choose to trust them. We're not saying you see them as completely infallible. Only God is completely infallible. We're saying that you believe for the best and hope for the best in them.
Love is Not Love Without Trust
There is no reason for loving someone if you cannot safely trust them. Love is pointless and good for nothing if you cannot trust your spouse/partner. I always knew I could not marry someone I could not trust and that I would not marry someone and not trust him. Both giving trust and being a person who can be trusted are vital parts of true love and intimacy. These open the door for safety, security, respect, as well as assurance. The more we become trustworthy people, the happier we become ourselves and the sweeter our relationship gets.
There's a level of connection you get when you share personal information with someone who does same with you. Especially when it's someone you trust and who complements you in certain areas such that both of you bond pretty easily.
Go to Any Length to Protect Trust
There are a hundred and one things that can shatter trust that took years to build in the twinkle of an eye. Things such as lies, violence, disloyalty, unfaithfulness and the worst of all which cripples trust completely is infidelity. Do everything to protect the trust people repose in you. Trust is like a well decorated beautiful wine glass that when broken can almost never be put again into its original form, no matter how hard one tries.
This is not to say that someone who has once broken the trust of others is doomed. People may eventually get to trust you again and some may never but you can decide to be a noble person henceforth, regardless of what the response of people towards you is. Stay true to a new character if integrity and nobility until those who have turned away from you get to truly attest to the fact that you've truly changed. Even if they never do, what matters is that you are no longer the person you used to be.
Not being able to trust one's spouse/partner makes it impossible for love to be sweet and enjoyable as it should be. Where there's distrust people are entangled in doubts, fear and insecurity. Where there's distrust there's a disconnection of hearts. If you're courting someone and you still have insecurities because of the absence of trust, then I suggest you pause and think properly. Work towards overcoming that uncertainty. Do not take it for grated. The journey of love is a long journey. Distrust is too much baggage to carry along.
Place Everything on the Table
We cannot speak of trust without talking of transparency. Help your spouse and yourself by staying transparent about every detail in your life and hope for the best. If someone must trust you, you must be ready to make yourself vulnerable. Quit hiding things that should be laid down on the table. Love is light and in the light everything is exposed and revealed. This is what true love is like. This is #WhatLoveReallyCosts - placing everything right there on the table.
A healthy and blooming relationship is impossible without trust. Determine to disconnect and destroy anything and everything that makes you less than someone who can be trusted. Resolve to be a trustworthy person in your relationship because without trust there's no chance of enjoying all that God intends for you to enjoy in your relationship.
Keep Loving, Keep Living...............LOVE ISSUES
@Bibilovejunkie
PIN: 2BB6ECFF
CHANNEL: C001AACA3
Post Page Advertisement [Top]
What Love Really Costs: Trust
Dr Mrs Blessing Ogbonnaya is a Relationship expert with a passion to spread light, love and positive vibes on the matters of Love, all kinds of relationships, courtship and marriage.She's a seasoned relationship expert who lives to sweeten people's lives by making them realize and believe they're special.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment