10. The most important thing to know about real love is that love is an action from you and to you. Act it and insist on it. Every single day, whether in a relationship or not, you must affirm that love is what you do, not what you say, and you must insist upon it with everyone in your life. If it's a "non-love" relationship (i.e. professional), respect is the action and you must be treated with respect in all your relationships.
If people understood what real love entailed they would be less inclined to go in and out of relationships in which they know they will experience anything but love. Use your time out of a relationship wisely, to build what you need to be in a healthy relationship. And then, go out and build it.
My books, "Getting Past Your Break-up" and "Getting Back Out There", emphasises that real love is an enlarging experience and dysfunctional love is a narrowing one. But anything that is enlarging comes with work and responsibilities—responsibility first to self and then to each other. A couple must support each other's hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
Thanks for sticking with me.
Susan J. Elliot
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