MANAGING RELATIONSHIPS' DIFFICULT MOMENTS

But wisdom is profitable to direct _ Ecc 10:10b KJV

We are social beings and in our relationships one with another; offences are bound to happen. Irrespective of how carefully you try to walk the relationship path, your feet will get dusty either from the dust of the ground or soiled by your partner and/or the environment. There will definitely be issues to contend with; be it character flaws, financial issues, family matters or otherwise. The length and joy of your relationship depends on how frictions are managed, problems are resolved and necessary reconciliation ensured. Maturity is key in this area.  A strong interplay of wisdom, virtue and experience are needed to manage relationships' difficult moments because a  plethora of these will determine it's values.

 We will consider four (4) vital elements employable in managing difficult moments in relationships.

1) Prayer: I call prayer the golden rule of life. Scripture establishes the fact that men always ought to pray and not to faint (Lk 18:1). Human as an extension of God came from God and can only be sustained by God. We must therefore learn and practise the act and art of prayer which remains a vital link of communication between humanity and divinity. We must know how to table our requests, petitions and heartaches before the Father. The Psalmist spoke of calling unto the Lord with his voice (Ps 3:4). Prayer applies to every area of our lives; our relationship especially in knotty times cannot be left out. Irrespective of the nature and peculiarity of the challenge; it cannot extinguish the force of prayer. Speak first to God about the lack of discretion, delay, financial turmoil, conception challenge, family tantrums and all the likes and see Him give you an escape route.

2) Ignore: There is a time to keep silence, and a time to speak (Ecc 3:7b). By ignoring,  I mean a time to refrain from speaking, it is not everything we respond to verbally. In your relationship, you must know when to be quiet after all to keep quiet or silence is golden and a better way of responding at times. It is not in all cases that your verbal reaction is appropriate. When you seem not to be able to wrap your your head around an issue; keep quiet. In volatile and highly controversial issues for which you aren't guarded or prepared; keep quiet. When angry also keep quiet. The aim of discussion is for discovery not defence; therefore discover more truths about your partner rather than speak cheap and shallow words all the time.

3) Communicate: In as much as there is a time to be quiet, there is also a time to talk/speak. People enjoy relationships more when they are always talking or a proper stream of communication. It is the lifeblood of any relationship. Prayer as discussed earlier is a form of communication first between you and your Creator and then between you and your spouse. Moments are treasured and good memories created by speaking encouraging, motivational and blessed words. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver (Prov 25:11). In times of offense you can also speak out. Troubling matters and basic differences can be talked over. You don't have to entertain grudges or unforgiveness. Let him/her be; it your friend or a spouse know you felt bad about what was done or what happened. Be open enough for discussions and trash such matters headlong. Never think the unresolved matter would die out if not spoken about, for in love is a part to being kind and confrontational.Forgive and move on.

4) Respond intelligently: I particularly don't like rash talk and I believe many people also don't fancy it. There is a manner to respond and an acceptable ethic to present matters. You ought to verbalize your words objectively, intelligently and maturely. In order to maintain your relationship, esteem your partner and earn the respect of others; you must learn the art of speaking. You are not expected to speak just anyhow. Take an instance of Abigail who married Nabal (1 Sam 25:1-44). She was a wise woman who knew how to choose words properly in order to pacify an angry and hungry David. If she was as foolish as her husband, David would have grounded her home. Her approach spared her home and not only that made her David's Queen after the death of her foolish husband Nabal. Learn to speak or respond intelligently in order to make your words, life and relationship count.


Let go of your struggles and allow principles that have been tried and tested,  worked over and over again in other to get the best out of any situation. Stay Blessed.