YOU TOO CAN HAVE A HEAVEN ON EARTH RELATIONSHIP

It's possible to have a relationship free of tensions, fears, uncertainties and worries. From the beginning it was the desire of God that mankind should experience on earth the kind of peace obtainable in Heaven. This desire of God hasn't changed.

For your relationship before your marriage and for your marriage, God wants you to enjoy the sweetness, joy and blessings comparable only to what is found in Heaven. Your relationship and your home can be heaven on earth. Today I share with you simple things that can help you enjoy this kind of atmosphere in your relationship and home.


1. DEFINE A CLEAR DIRECTION:: Have you not realized that nothing just happens? Everything has a cause, something that makes it come into being. In the same way, a heaven on earth atmosphere cannot just happen by chance. There is the place of desire and you can only desire what you admire. So, it all starts from having a destination in mind. See in your mind the kind of relationship you want to see with your eyes. Visualize within you the kind of relationship you want to experience. It's even better when you're not yet in a relationship but if you're in one already, it's not too late. Where do you want to arrive at with this relationship? God's Word is the only true reality. So, take the paint brush of inspiration that flows into your heart through your interaction with God's Word, and paint within you the kind of relationship you want to have. As my dearest would always say, be inspired by the Holy Word, not by Hollywood. Where you're headed must be clear to you, otherwise your relationship will wander in no specific direction. When no destination is set, you cannot have progress because we only say a person is making progress when they are heading in a predetermined direction.

2. FIND SOMEONE HEADED IN YOUR DIRECTION: Sadly, many people do not consider the real issues when they make marital decisions about their future. They choose people who are not going in their direction and then, they wonder what happened when months or years later there is a breakup or a divorce. You suddenly start hearing them say they were never really compatible. Truth is, two persons cannot walk together except they agree to go in the same direction. The sooner that dawns on you, the better. So, before you start the trip, know where you're going and be certain the other person shares that same destination. If you're still single you should know that you cannot just marry anybody. Destination is more important than charm. We all love charming people but don't just be swept by charm, look for where they're headed. Does the person see what you see concerning a relationship and marriage? Do they share or are they willing to share the same kind of values you see in and have adopted from God's word concerning the kind of relationship and marriage you want to have? Be sure you travel with someone going in your direction. If you don't take this into consideration, sooner or later, either of you will want to alight the bus because it has suddenly become clear that you were on a bus going in the  wrong direction all along.

3. CARRY THE RIGHT PEOPLE ALONG: As much as a relationship or marriage should primarily be between the two persons involved in either case, there is the need to create room for godly counsellors. Look for people (couples) who have modelled exemplary relationships and marriages, carefully and prayerfully choose a few (maybe two or three) that you and your partner/spouse go to see once in a while to just chat with them, ask them questions and learn from them. This is so vital. Again and again the Bible encourages us to note that there is safety in listening to good counsel. So, make this a part of your relationship experience. Go counsel with people who are enjoying the atmosphere of Heaven in their relationship. Many people get it all wrong by thinking counselling is only for those in a mess or for those in trouble. Not at all. Actually, good counsel keeps you from getting into a mess and from getting into trouble. These godly influences will be used by God to sharpen both of you and to teach you many things. I have seen that some couples carry people along but then, they carry the wrong people along. You should choose wisely. Look for godly examples. Also, carry your families along. Don't leave them in the dark. You both should visit with them, chat with them and make your relationship open to them. This , of course, does not mean that you allow them run your relationship or your marriage.

4. GATHER WHAT YOU NEED FOR THE JOURNEY: A car with an empty fuel tank cannot arrive at a desired destination. A student who has no understanding of a course cannot pass the examination. Yes, it is true that poor preparation produces poor performance. So, gather and gather for the journey. But you should not expect to gather everything before you commence a relationship because there's actually no end to gathering what you need. If you're not in a relationship yet, get busy learning, and when God directs you into one, keep learning. Wisdom is the major ingredient. Twenty years into marriage, you will still need to learn and develop yourself.  The point however, is that you should start now and keep doing a good job at equipping yourself even in your relationship/marriage . Read, read and reread. Download loads of helpful materials and consume them. Buy books, videos and audios that relay to you God's wisdom for healthy relationships and digest them. You cannot give what you do not have, and remember that what you plant is what you reap. So, plant loads of wisdom in yourself. What you have in you is what you bring into the relationship. By equipping yourself, you're blessing your relationship.

5. NEVER QUIT: Success in any area follows perseverance. Quitters never win and winners don't give up. In having a Heaven-on-earth experience in your relationship, you need to lay your hands on the plough and never look back. Cherish your partner/spouse. See him/her as a gift from God to you. If you once knew that God inspired your coming together, never lose that confidence. Again and again remind yourself of the fact that it was God who gave you this person as a special gift. Commit yourself to the union. Invest in your spouse and keep keeping your eyes on that picture you saw in your heart at the beginning. If you didn't see a picture at the start, paint one now with the inspiration from God's Word. No matter the seeming challenges, keep your eyes on God's Word and be inspired by His love. He never quits on us. He never calls off His relationship with us. He always gives us better than we deserve. He loves us, not because we're lovely or lovable but because He is love. Be inspired by these. Sell your heart out to this agape kind of love.

I hope that these points can help us improve our relationships and marriages just as they have helped me.

Your Love Coach,
The Lovejunkie.