After penning thoughts of what I have learned about marriage, which I believe was a blessing to everyone who got to read it, I decided to address the importance of how a successful Single Life is directly linked to having a beautiful marriage life because. People underestimate how crucial the singlehood phase is to anyone who wants to have a successful marriage and that's the starting point.
It is an error to think that the state of singlehood doesn't have a direct effect on marriage, making a lot of young people have misconstrued ideologies especially about marriage. When young adults come to the knowledge that the deeds, decisions, and choices are taken during singlehood are paramount to their success as married individuals, they would be more serious about the choices they make. I have decided to let all those yet to be married to understand some very basic truth about the single life.
1)Being single is not a curse but a necessity. Singleness is a calling and not an identity. Marriage is God's idea and so also is the period before it, SingleHood.
Singleness and Single Hood are two different entities. The former is a disposition. It is the default mindset imputed in us by God and left to us as our responsibility to build upon. The latter is a stage, a temporary state or status. As a matter of fact, to be in a state of singleness should be the goal of every person - married or not why, because it helps any individual walk the path of purpose which is the essence of life here on earth.
Single Hood is the most important stage of an individual. What is done at this time determines the strength of the character of the individual to the issues of life especially in marriage? Singleness or being single is having the qualities of being the first man or woman and if not developed or discovered during singlehood, chances of having a great marriage are slim.
If God created you as a single first, then there is surely a purpose for that. Once the process of singlehood is short-circuited, then possible problems in marriage are inevitable. What one does with their singlehood will determine their level of happiness when they get married. You see, God definitely wants us all to have a great and fulfilled marriage life with our spouses. He illustrates this by setting the single man Adam, in the Garden in order for him to have a balanced life first, without a spouse and he sure did.
2) Being single gives you the opportunity to develop your self in commitment and devotion first to yourself so that you can be able to show commitment to a spouse in marriage. If a single does not learn to build their commitment level or their devotion strength by themselves, it becomes an issue.
Most times in singlehood these days, many rather hurry up in finding a relationship because of the pressure the current trend impacts on the world today. It's not so much of a surprise where one sees 13-year-olds or 19-year-olds already in love relationships. In the long run, these sets of people tend to develop a mentality of loneliness even when married because they never built in themselves the character of being Single.
To be single means you must know and have an understanding that you are unique, complete and whole. You do not need anyone to complete you. Marriage is not a union of two incomplete people but of two whole and complete individuals all around. Not having this knowledge always has a detrimental effect on such an individual as well as the marriage they get into in the long run.
It's important to know that jumping the phase of singlehood and being in a relationship to soon doesn't deal with the issue of loneliness; knowing, understanding and defining your singleness does. When they say marriage is a union of two whole singles, believe me, it is a sure word that carries so much weight.
3) Being single gives you the ground to sustain your virginity in order to enjoy marriage full-blown. You see in marriage, sexual pleasure and satisfaction are of utmost importance. Most times, people would want to marry someone who they believe can satisfy all their sexual fantasies and who also have not given themselves out before the right time. This is likely why Scripture filled with imagery of singleness and virginity as a metaphor for the love and devotion of God’s people.
The phase of Single Hood was not created for sexual experiments. Do not accept the lie that it is in this phase that sexual compatibility is tested. There are loads of ways to know if a lady or man will be sexually compatible when marriage is in view. Virginity is to singlehood as sex is to marriage. One of the secrets of having a fulfilled and awesome sexual life in marriage is preserving one's virginity.
4) Being in the state of singlehood is the perfect timing to be involved in service to the things of God. It's interesting to know that singles believe they will serve God better when they are married and their spouses are there to help and support them. Listen, what you do not develop and build in singlehood never reaches perfection in marriage. In order words, If you don't build the commitment towards God as a single, marriage will definitely not help you do that. The quality of your singleness determines the quality of your marriage. What you had time to develop in single Hood is what will become part of you in marriage.
If you must enjoy marriage with your spouse then you must know that singlehood is the stage to develop your self to the fullest and in every way. The more single (singleness)one is, the better the chances they have having a healthy and lasting marriage.
Your Love Coach,
TheLovejunkie
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