RELATIONSHIP STORIES: LOVE IS NOT....

"For heavens sake, what in the world is going on in your head Alero?"
Ejiro yelled at her friend wondering what had come over her. Ejiro just couldn't place all what Alero just told her.
"How can you say you have fallen in love with Donald?" Ejiro's words kept pouring like a tap left opened hoping that what she said would wake Alero from the daydream she had gotten herself into. She was stunned that Alero, a Spirit filled believer would open her mouth to say she had "fallen in love" with a guy who wasn't a believer and the most annoying part,one who already was seeing someone.
"You and I know deep down that this thing you are calling love for Donald isn't love but a craving to be loved or better still Infatuation."

On and on Ejiro went as Alero looked at her friend trying to say more about she and Donald but Ejiro won't let her.
"Anyway, I hope you come to your sanctified senses soon as I keep praying for you." Ejiro had said all she had to say and left Alero's room before she could say another word. Left all by herself, Alero began to reminisce all that her good friend had told her. The words Ejiro spoke kept coming after her everyday like someone haunted. She had felt really bad and repentant and began to ask herself questions that she couldn't even figure out answers to.

Alero knew all this while that deep down in her spirit there was an unrest about herself and Donald, not mainly because of his existing relationship with the other lady but more importantly, the fact that she knew they couldn't end up together even if she could have him on a platter of gold. But was that what she really wanted? Did she want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't believe the same things she believed?
"Definitely not. But yeah, he could get to change", at least that was what he kept telling her, change to be the kind of man she wanted. She knew fully well though that no man could change for a woman based on some infatuation they both had going on, and if a man was going to really change and become better, it would take the hand of God and a change of his own personal convictions.

After days of battling with the unrest in her mind and especially with Ejiro constantly spilling the truth at her, she had had it. She made up her mind and found the courage after she prayed about it, to stay away from Donald. She just couldn't keep deceiving herself about this anymore. Donald tried everything he could to make her change her mind but no, this girl wasn't going back on her decision. To help her stay in her right senses, she gave a him a distance so great that she would not spend any moment with him, did not pick up his calls but gave more of her attention to prayers and God's Word, to refresh her thinking and to find peace yet again. She discovered she was even happier than she was before and knowing God's time is the best, she chose to trust God for her own right man.


Friends, we saw in the previous edition what true love really is and for this edition we shall be looking at what it isn't. Someone did rightly say that the two ways to understand the definition of a thing is to know what it is and what it isn't. Today we want to find out what love is not. For many reading this, it will be a reminder of the truths you once knew. Love is not a feeling one feels when the attractiveness of the opposite sex suddenly appeals to your fancy or when it brings butterflies in our stomach. Love is not an inexplicable state that overwhelms a person and makes them almost out of their minds and out of control. Love isn't a state of misplaced priorities where you're blinded from the ability to make clear judgements. Love is not blind and does not blind people. Love sees clearly but chooses not to dwell on the faults or the wrongs of others.

Love isn't what we allow our emotions to decide for us, rather it is what we allow our convictions, graced with the knowledge of God's Word, to settle. Love isn't the same as lust or infatuation that blinds our good sense of reasoning and judgement. Lust may seem to be so strong but they are nothing but the interpretations of our brain cells in the cerebral cortex, sent to the sex hormones which are created in us all and transmitted to their appropriate receptors which only giving out signals that last for a short time. What i'm saying is that lust is a chemical reaction but then, one can fuel it by choosing to ignore God's Word.

But love is not a chemical reaction that turns blue after titration or yellow when heated. Until we have this understanding and as establish it as an accepted knowledge in our heads, minds and hearts, then just like Alero, the chance of falling prey is inevitable. Sometimes we need people like Ejiro who truly care about us to talk to us and pray for us, and not stop until we come back to our right minds. Alero's getting to make up her mind was the first step of letting true love lead her. You too may be where Alero was or perhaps you know a believer who is. A made up mind is the first thing to have.

Drawing the curtains at this juncture would be good enough but this article won't be complete without saying what the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13 says love isn't. The Message translation says,
"...love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel..."
Indeed you and I can make a huge difference in the lives of others as we allow God help us operate this way. And young one, take it upon yourself to only live out what true love really means and you won't get things wrong in life's journey especially in the matters of the heart, for true love never fails.

I do believe you have been so blessed with this edition. So' let's keep it locked on to Love Issues as it can only get better.


Keep Loving, Keep Living............LOVE ISSUES
Dr. Blessing Ehigiator
@bibilovejunkie



P.S: It's my pleasure ti inform you that yours truly is participating in the on-going MY BIG NIGERIAN WEDDING competition 2015.

It started in November last year with over 140 couples in the first stage.

At the end of Stage 1, the first 50 couples in terms of number of votes, crossed into Stage 2. From this stage only 10 couples will move on to the final stage where the winner of the competition will be selected.

The final stage has no voting of any kind as it's designed to be an interactive session. Therefore, Stage 2 is where I and my fiance need you most.

The winner of this competition will have their wedding and honeymoon sponsored this year to the tune of 15million naira.

For now, Stage 2 is purely about voting online daily but other voting methods like SMS voting will also be used in this stage. We'll notify you when the other methods start.

Below is the simple voting procedure :
1. Click on the link below
2. Like the WED Daily page (if you haven't)
3. Click Vote
4. Encourage your family and friends to do the same.

We're in this matter together. Thanks a whole lot and God bless you.
Here's the link - http://woobox.com/dymgeb/vote/for/5189947
Bibi &Chichi