What Love Really Costs: Romance

Romance in Perspective
Love is not all about romance but romance is a vital part of love. The love between a man and a woman coming together as God pleases, should be enjoyed by both. This has always been God's desire. He wants what's good for us. This is one of the reasons He instituted the quiet natural craving for romance in everyone. There's nothing wrong with romance if we place it in the proper perspective and use it for what God intended.

Everyone wants to feel and know they are irresistibly loved. There is no law in any organised society anywhere in the world, that is against love - loving people and being loved by people. What all men long for, deep down in their hearts is to experience true love. Romance is one way of showing this to your partner/spouse and satisfying that longing.

The media and the secular world has bastardised, misused and abused the term 'romance' so much so, that many people have no idea what it really means to be romantic. Being romantic isn't the same as being sold out to lust and perverseness. Romance is the demonstration of a strong attachment to/for someone. It's the coming together of the little things we do to emphasise and display our loving commitment to that one we have chosen to give our heart to.


A Biblical Example
Shapely and graceful your sandaled feet, and queenly your movement— Your limbs are lithe and elegant, the work of a master artist. Your body is a chalice, wine-filled. Your skin is silken and tawny like a field of wheat touched by the breeze. Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is carved ivory, curved and slender. Your eyes are wells of light, deep with mystery. Quintessentially feminine! Your profile turns all heads, commanding attention. The feelings I get when I see the high mountain ranges—stirrings of desire, longings for the heights— remind me of you, and I'm spoiled for anyone else! Your beauty, within and without, is absolute, dear lover, close companion. You are tall and supple, like the palm tree, and your full breasts are like sweet clusters of dates. I say, "I'm going to climb that palm tree! I'm going to caress its fruit!" Oh yes! Your breasts will be clusters of sweet fruit to me, your breath clean and cool like fresh mint, your tongue and lips like the best wine.

You're so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine. Your smile is generous and full—expressive and strong and clean. Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting, your veiled cheeks soft and radiant. The smooth, lithe lines of your neck command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration! Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers. The sweet, fragrant curves of your body, the soft, spiced contours of your flesh invite me, and I come. I stay until dawn breathes its light and night slips away. You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love, beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless.

The words you have just read are from the scriptures. O yes, the Holy Bible has that in it because it's holy to be romantic; it's acceptable by God. They are the words of a man directed to the woman he loves. It's obvious that the words were carefully crafted, put together and skillfully presented with an intent to both make an honest expressions of the state of his heart and to give delight to the one it's written to. He talks about the different parts of his woman's anatomy and captivates her with his words of admiration. With poetic excitement, he showcases a high level of value for her and the fact that she's his priceless priority.


Romantic Expressions
When we take another close look at those passages from Songs of Solomon chapters 4 and 7, we do not only see how deeply he loved her but we also see that he was apt to show his love in words and actions. This in simple terms is what romance means - the deliberate readiness to display genuine care, love, affection, concern and commitment, in love and actions. Trust me, the quality of your love relationship has everything to do with the presence or absence of romance.

One might think romance is as easy as ABC when they are madly in love with their partner or spouse. It does appear so, especially when the man and woman just recently got hooked and when they're still few days, weeks or months into the journey. However, as time goes on, you'll come to appreciate the place of learning how to sustain the romance. As humans, without making a conscious effort, we tend to slack in our drive and excitement. Some little things like this can push the romance pendulum the other way and cause problems in relationships. Your deliberate learning and practical application of what we learn will be the only way to stay excited and passionate about your spouse for as long as you both live.

To be romantic means that you maintain an attitude of loving care, continuous interest in your beloved and an attitude that relentlessly pursues after them to please them by the words you speak and the things you do. There's nothing wrong in pleasing your engaged (or soon-to-be engaged) partner, your wife or your husband. Marriage is actually about putting the other person before yourself. There's only a problem if you'd rather please them than please God. Romantic expressions are those things you do to, as it were, win the heart of your partner/spouse. Yes, they are yours but an understanding of romance helps you see they'd love for you to pursue them everyday, respecting and loving them.


Some Romantic Ideas
Learn to deliberately use your mind to improve the relationship when you love someone. By that I mean that you should engage your mind in thinking of creative ways to convey your love for them to them. Don't leave things to chance. Think of what they would really appreciate and do it for them. You don't always have to reinvent the wheel. You can find some wonderful things some other persons have done to express their love for their spouse. Reproduce the same in your relationship or do an improved version of it.

If you can sing, sing them songs. If you can compose songs, compose songs just for them. If you can write inspiring words, do it for them. If you're poetic, write them poems. Do whatever you're gifted in, just to show them you're still in love with them and that you'll never change your mind. Express your love in some special way. You can write a note and hide it where they can find it. Use words of appreciation., words of admiration for them, words to show your connection to them and words to express your intention (how devoted and supportive you intend to be to them).

Put your natural giftings and abilities to work. If you're not specially gifted in any way, still find a way to show them some love - you can get someone who is gifted to help you do something creative. You can think up the idea and have them produce it. Present gifts. It always works. What matters isn't always the size but the thoughtfulness, For those who are engaged or married, make sure you keep doing the things that your partner/spouse saw and cherished in you at the point when they decided to spend the rest of their lives with you. Keep doing that thing and even become better at it.


Why Romance?
Everyone wants to be loved and they want to know they are loved. Everyone was created as a special person. Deep within us, we all know that consciously or subconsciously. The desire to have that special someone love you in a special way, is not man-made. God put it there. Romance is important because the need for it was designed by God.

Romance can be used to restore the joy of a relationship. What many embattled relationships lack is the absence of a deliberate romantic input. If only some would adhere to these things being shared here, their relationships and marriages would bounce back to life like an 80 year old man laughing, walking and sprinting with the youthfulness of a 21 year old. There may be times when due to certain things, one or both partners lose all forms of excitement and emotional feelings towards each other but when romance is put into action, it can fire up the necessary feelings and stir up love till it becomes red hot again.

The absence of romance causes a drag between partners. They gradually start to value each other less, until disrespect, resentment and several ill and toxic things begin to result. Once the spontaneity and joy of romance is gone, the more boring, predictable and sweetless your relationship becomes . Romance sweetens a relationship. That's a fact. There could be times when things are not going so well in your different lives, maybe due to the loss of a job, financial instability, a child's ill-health or some form of challenge, a soft tender-loving care can go a long way to remedy things and to solve the problems.


Make Deliberate Efforts
Do everything it will take to be more romantic in the way you treat your spouse because it says a whole lot about you. Take delight in discovering new ideas and taking steps that can trigger something sweet in them and that will keep their love tank full. Doing this successfully requires careful observation, being proactive in your thinking about their needs, desires, likes etc. Give yourself to doing anything noble just to make them happy always.

The men should remember that a woman should always be pursued. Do not think you have conquered her because you successfully got engaged to her or because you married her. That way of thinking and living will produce a sour relationship. Keep pursuing her. If you think and act this way, you'll be fueling the romance in the relationship/marriage.

It's interesting that my last post for this year 2015, an amazing year of God's grace and mercy, is on this subject. I am sure you now have a better understanding of #WhatLoveReallyCosts. This is the end of this series. I pray for you: May the wisdom of God lead you and distinguish you. May your life and your marriage fulfil the intentions of God. May the plans of God for humanity prosper because of your relationship. By the assistance of God's Spirit, may you become and remain a reference for the whole world around you, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Thanks for being a part of our 2015. We love you and wish you a happy new year in advance.

Keep Loving, Keep Living...............LOVE ISSUES
@Bibilovejunkie
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