A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.”
-Fawn Weaver
Always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth -2Tim. 3:7
I wish singles knew the following things before marriage:
1) Marriage is not about “This person is going to make me happy.” That’s too much responsibility for one person to carry. Learn to be a servant of your spouse. God is more concerned about you being holy than happy. Marriage is about learning to love an imperfect person (yes, you have issues also)…for life. Marriage is more like “How can I please you.” Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Eph. 5:25).
This includes when your spouse has off days. We must learn how to love our spouse unconditionally. The more we learn about meeting our spouse’s needs, the smoother our marriage will become. Most people are afraid to meet a spouse’s needs because of fear that unconditional giving won’t be reciprocated. That’s why the one you marry should be filled with God’s spirit because that person will feel convicted when not reciprocating love back to you.
2) Just because you get married doesn’t mean that the rest of the human race suddenly becomes unattractive. Singles think that since they have a spouse they won’t be tempted. After all, they married people they were attracted to, right? Remember: Marriage is not a fire extinguisher! If you don’t tame your flesh as a single, marriage won’t change it. Ever wonder why there is so much infidelity in today’s society? Sorry to break the news to you, but our flesh is never satisfied. Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content (Eccl. 1:8). However, in marriage having a healthy sex life is a great tool against adultery.
3) Never underestimate pre marital counselling. I tell singles “If the one you plan on marrying doesn’t want pre marital counselling, I question the one you are about to marry.” Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success (Prov. 15:22). Some people don’t want to wait for pre marital counselling for a lack of self-control; they are ready to jump in the bed. Some people don’t want the counsellor's advice because their minds are already made up. “I’m going to marry him/her no matter what.” (This type of attitude sometimes happens because a couple has already had sex.) Go through pre marital counselling because sometimes a counsellor or pastor can see things you can’t. These insights will help you. Respect your pastor or counsellor advice. Don’t just leave the church if you are told something you don’t want to hear. Instead, pray about the advice you are given.
4) It’s ok to celebrate each other’s differences. Over time you may become frustrated with your spouse’s uniqueness. For example, your husband or wife might not do things the way you do them, simply because that person was raised in a different household. Maybe your spouse was an only child and you had brothers and sisters. Maybe your spouse is not used to sharing a bathroom. Maybe your spouse cleans the house differently or cooks food differently than your mother did. Let your spouse be the person God created. If your spouse is doing something differently and it is not morally wrong or questionable, don’t try to change that person. It will take a load off your shoulders. Usually the first year of marriage is the toughest because two people from two different homes are trying to discover the culture of their own home. True love is when you let your spouse be themselves and yet love them unconditionally. God is the same way with us, right?
Let all that you have read count in your life today. Give, accept and practise sound counsel that can change your life for better, the future begins today.
Be Sweet Always...........LOVE ISSUES.
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