GREAT GAIN OR REGRETS?

As I read through my mail this past week, my eyes got hold of a heading on a mail that Iooked really scary, to me,  it read "the biggest challenge of my life" and then as I hit to read the body of the mail I thought to my self " Nah this can't be happening to him, he's probably trying to share someone else's experience so we could learn from and using that as the caption". for I had come to love reading his ever rich articles on love and relationship and marriage and they had been a blessing to me for the period of time I had  subscribed to his mails.



He was like a mentor  from afar, someone I really admired,  married for over a decade with two children to boost of but yet as I read on and got to the end of his blog post, it was painful to know that what I was suspecting from the caption had happened; a divorce.

   


What I had planned to talk about today isn't on divorce, hopefully that would be a topic for another time but  still on a factor kind of related to it,  that could lead to a separation  in the long run if not dealt with in the right way for failed marriages are results of the accumulation of unresolved issues over a period of time.



Is it possible for one to be married and still feel they could have chosen a better spouse? Or is it right to always think of the flaws and weaknesses of one's partner there by wishing you had married someone better ? I got  this as a sequel to a previous post I had done.



Let me say straight way that this thinking or series of thoughts about wishing for a better spouse are not only wrong but are detrimental to a marriage relationship. You might say it's okay to have those thoughts as long as they remain thoughts but have you not heard that as a man thinks in his heart so he is what he becomes?



Our minds are incubators of the experiences we have in reality.  When we don't accept our spouses for who they truly are, together with their  weaknesses and flaws, we endure our marriages instead of enjoying it forgetting  that no one is perfect.  We all have areas of strengths and weaknesses, characters that are appealing or appalling. A lot of people think they can change their partners to suit what they really want but no one has the ability to change any one, only the one who created us can.



 What ever drew you to your spouse in the first place  should be your praise of them always, it doesn't matter if it doesn't look like it any more, keep saying it, keep confessing it about them for what you keeping calling is surely going to come. The more you entertain negative thoughts, the more you cause a rift between you both leading to a strain in your relationship which might lead to a separation, for little foxes always spoil the vine.



Choose always to be convinced in yourself that you married the right person. Give yourself several reasons why your spouse is better than others. Learn to see the advantages and benefits that he or she brings. Amplify their  strengths and ignore their weaknesses.



 Consciously put away  negative things that cloud your appreciation of your spouse remembering that one man's meat is another man's poison.  Love and cherish your own, esteem them highly than others. Be content with your spouse for as it is written "Godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6) Believe that your partner or spouse is the best amongst millions for in so doing, you let love come to its fullest. I leave you with a verse of the ancient book,  think about these lines deeply.

"Song of Solomon 5:8-10(MSG)

  I beg you, sisters in Jerusalem--if you find my lover, Please tell him I want him, that I'm heartsick with love for him.

 What's so great about your lover, fair lady? What's so special about him that you beg for our help?

 My dear lover glows with health--red-blooded, radiant! He's one in a million. There's no one quite like him!


Keep Loving, Keep Living......... LOVE ISSUES