PAINED LOVE

In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.
Isaiah 54:14 KJV


You were in a relationship with him. Oh how wonderful it was. You keep reminiscing about all the good times you both had together. He made you feel like a queen. The love he had for you was better than the one of your previous ex. In fact, you realize that the more relationships you had had over time, the better the love you experienced with each of them but then, it hits you, none was close to an engagement or to even mention marriage then you wonder if everything is okay with you. "why are these men never proposing marriage to me" you ask yourself, or was it that you kept dating the wrong guys? But for heavens sake, how can dating close to five guys in the space of 3 years and yet none could even take their commitment level to the final destination.  The thought made you unhappy as being with each of them made you open up to them, your emotional bank account seemed emptied. What really could be the problem, you keep asking yourself. The cycle continues of pained love, you thought you had got the right guy after all you did every thing a girl should do to keep her man from giving him good food, to good sex and even to helping him most times financially but yet he dumps you for another and all of  sudden, you get to hear he just got  married.


Unfortunately this is the situation many find themselves today all in the bid to find the right partner but they always end up worse than it was from the very onset. At first, many ladies go into relationships because they want to be loved or want to feel loved, many go into relationships because of companionship, they are tired of being lonely, they see how their friends relationship makes them feel loved, yet many go into relationships for what they will get from such guys. Painfully, they never think of what they are willing to give, what tangible values or worth they are bringing to the relationship or what moral principles they are going to inculcate in their partners. For many, the only thing they offer is sex which plainly is the root cause of death of such relationships that never make it to marriage.  For others it's trust issues which most times still has a connect to sex because once sex is in a relationship, both partners will never believe their other partner is having sex with just them only. While to some it ranges from giving little financial support, some to taking much financial support, no quality time, being too dependable and yet some others especially the guys, just want to test the waters or while away time knowing fully well that they aren't ready for marriage.

Common now; enough is enough. Are you not tired of such a life? How long will you always get your fingers burnt? God didn't create love to be pained or frustrating. Going from one relationship to another only diminishes your worth of becoming marriageable. It reduces your emotional tank or emotional bank account that is meant to be shared with just one person. No wonder people get married after a few years, they get tired and opt for a divorce all because they had almost used up their emotional deposits on someone else. Truth be said, to get the best out of love relationship that should culminate into marriage, one has got to do it God's ways. Listen, the wisdom of this world is foolish, it brings more pain than good but the wisdom that is of God is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. God's word has given us principles to live by so as to get the best out of life.

I thank God I enjoy a wonderful and sweet marriage to my soul mate and partner today, one I always thank God for daily. I didn't just stumble on him nor did he stumble on me, we choose to keep God's word and principles dear and near our hearts over our early years, loving and serving our God and when it was time for marriage, the force that holds such principles we had lived by connected us together. It's God's will that you are happy. I pray today that you start choosing right and living deliberately. We shall talk in details what these principles are for a glorious marriage. Until then, cheers.