A couple of weeks back, while I read on different experiences of people who found love; the things they did, what they had to learn and unlearn and stuff they had to forgo to become better before love found them. I was reminded that the subject of finding love could be way different for different folks but the end point should always be happiness which is what everyone seeks after, a kind of happiness that stems out from being truly loved and accepted. Believe me when I say we all are love beings, wired in such a way to be loved always. That's how our Creator made us for in Himself is the true nature of Love.
We all want partners who fulfils our dreams of a happily-ever-after union just like we see in the movies. But is that really possible, having a marriage so full of bliss and happiness? Can someone really find love as good as it's portrays in the movies? Or is it just fairy tale?
Love I believe is most common but yet seems like it's so difficult to lay hold on. The force of love is what has upheld the elements of the world till today, unfortunately, in a world where separation, and divorce and all sorts of ills concerning love are the order of the day, it makes it really difficult to believe one can have a successful love relationship or a happy marriage.
The problem has always been how many view love. Love isn't a feeling, it isn't emotions either. You should not think that the strong feelings of love you've got for her will make a marriage work, it never does. You shouldn't rent the space in your mind of thinking the way your body reacts when you both are together will make a marriage work, that's the mistake people make. Apart from the fact that isn't love, even love in itself (as a commitment) isn't enough to make a marriage work. It's imperative that we understand this, that feelings of love are important but they aren't the first line of action in making a marriage work.
Before awesome relationships /marriages come about there are so many things that should be thought deeply. The foremost is to make up our minds on the kind of person we would want to spend our lives with( after you have discovered yourself) and in so doing, we have got to allow facts to override feelings most of the time and never allowing our feelings to override the facts, and importantly, making that a habit lest we make silly mistakes. Facts are not subject to change but feelings are. Relationships that are bound to lasts are built on facts not feelings.
Feelings of love are always deceptive when faced with having to settle with someone, for they subject to change just like chemical reactions that goes on in our bodies every second. That's why you'll need something more convincing when choosing rightly and this are facts, facts about the person for starters.
How well do you know them?, what attributes do they reflect that made you drawn to them?, do they have a sweet and meek spirit?, are they loving and accommodating?, are their characters something you can tolerate, how do they react when they are angry?, are they going in the same direction in life as you? And it goes on.
In a nutshell, the sum total of one's personality matters a whole lot while wanting to commit to a relationship headed for marriage . It is no news that marriage doesn't change anyone, it actually brings out the best or worst in people . What ever character trait you observe in them now is the same trait that will take full manifestation when you both have gone past the aisle. Don't take this for granted. It's important you make deliberate decisions based on the observations you've gotten over a period of time.
Choose not to be carried away by all the outward show of wonderful gestures, buttefly in your stomach feeling, sweet talks, awesome gifts and bodily curves rather, take time to look inwardly, the contents of their hearts, their emotional balance, their life's convictions. It is important you have something tangible to hold them to, one that doesn't diminish with time but rather will be tried and tested . Also, what are their goals and aspirations in life? Are the both of you gonna be headed in the same direction, or would there be clash of interests later on?Any love relationship intending for a successful marriage, having a common life's perception of goals is important,they don't have to be exact but they should have the same trajectory for two can not walk together except they agree and agree continuously.
Making the right decision depends more on us than the ones we want to commit to. As the saying goes, "you can not give what you don't have", likewise you can't get what you do not have the capacity for. You have got to add to yourself right values you would want to see in them. Be the kind of person you would want to get married to.
When we have got the right knowledge on love and relationships, not as the world knows but as the Word of God says then we put ourselves on the right path.
Knowing what it takes for love to work is key. Get to embrace strong principles and timeless wisdom which will stand you out and help you get it right. Don't do what every one else is doing, don't follow the crowd, for lasting marriages are not common but are surely present. If you want to make it work then you have to get it right from the start. Go for someone who you will be content with even after years to come.
People get married for various reasons to their spouses and still feel they made a mistake. They feel they should have married someone else for whatever reason. Such a thought should not even cross minds especially if we know we made the right decisions, not based on feelings,desperation, fear or on the current status of an individual or even on people's recommendations but on our convictions that are formed by facts and their source guided by God's Word and Spirit.
Choose to let this make a change in your thought pattern concerning how to go about deciding whom to walk down the aisle with for a beautiful marriage starts with two good friends who choose to love, give and forgive daily.
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