DEALING WITH ANGER IN RELATIONSHIPS

When you hear the word Relationships , you mind races through all the wonderful and beautiful things couples do.

From the date nights, to the breakfast in bed, to the romantic dinner, one would have no reason to think otherwise but hey, these aren't the only things that go on in successful relationships.

Yes, there are also times of upsetting, unjust and annoying emotions  that comes upon you when your partner or spouse does something really irritable to you. Such emotions can be collectively called Anger.

Anger is a normal emotional reaction when someone knows that their feelings have been seriously hurt. It's the way we humans react to unpleasant situations that affect our natural state.

For the records, is it bad to be angry? Absolutely not, even the Bible says be angry but don't sin.  So, while it’s perfectly normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged, anger becomes a problem when you express it in a way that harms yourself or your partner.

Expressing anger in relationships can be the reason for everything gone wrong in a relationship. It is important that both spouses or partners form a concession on how deal with anger issues.

Many times, anger has made either party become verbally or physically abusive. And in other times, even led to death.

The aftermath of anger can be brutal and may cause serious damages to ones self esteem and life in general in a relationship.

People react to anger in different ways.

 To some, the magnitude of what ever led to anger may be on the low side or high side.

This inturn makes them react terribly or just overlook it. While to others, no matter how hurt or how badly angered they are, their reaction would still be mild.

Before I mention how to really deal with anger, I would like to say here that people's response to anger depends wholly on what they have on their inside, the content of their character.

By that I mean if they are filled with the Holy Spirit or not.

Back then in the university, a friend who wanted to date me asked me this question, '' How do you respond when you are terribly angry''?  He had asked because he had dated ladies who would throw dangerous objects at him when they were filled with rage and if I had said I can do terrible things, he would have classified me as '' Na Dem''

Here's what Scriptures has to say about anger. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

In a nutshell, these passages mean almost the same. An angry man is a dangerous, lacks understanding fool. Wouldn't you rather choose not be such a fellow?

One might ask if it's possible to be angry and do not sin, yes it is as seen in Eph 4:26. Below are ways to deal or overcome anger in your relationships before it overcomes you.

1) Surrender : You must understand that for you not to be given to anger and. it's negative  impact, you have to let the Spirit of God get the best of you, how? by making up your mind to let God's word and prayer deal with it. Anger might be an emotion but it becomes dreaded or demonic when it makes one do terrible things they later regret.

2) Lack of Communication : Before you start boiling, take a chill pill and give your spouse the benefit of a doubt. It could just be that you have to clear some misunderstanding. A couple in constant communication reduces the chance of having to be misunderstood which leads to occurrences for anger outburst.

3) Be Vulnerable : By this I mean you should let your guard down after all you are in a love relationship, be it marriage or one leading to marriage. Your partner ought to be able to see through you.  Don't hold back anything from them. Be truthful. Outbursts of anger are hardly frequent when two people are open and truthful to each other.

4) Be Empathetic : choosing to embrace empathy over blame dissipates anger surges.  Before you flip, put yourself in their shoes and see through thier eyes the reason why they did what they did that made you get angry. Always being in a state of empathy helps a great deal.


I sure hope this has helped someone a great deal and if you have got questions to ask, please feel free to contact me Lovejunkiebibi@gmail.com and follow on IG @the_lovejunkie
Facebook @RelationshipSchool

Your Love Coach 
@thelovejunkie