HEY GIRL, RECEIVE SENSE.

It's that time of the year again to be dashing through the snow in a one - horse open sleigh; where all around you is filled with the spirit of Christmas and people are going on vacations or visiting beautiful places that they have always wanted to see.

More common with this time of the year are the increased number of marriages. Haven't you noticed it or is it just me? It just seem these couples all wanted to have the feel of Yuletide serenade them as they walk down the aisle. Good for them, at most it makes the honey moon more enjoyable.  But then, there you are, feeling bad and thinking, 'why couldn't it be me walking down the aisle this December'?  Then you start recounting all your past failed relationships and before you know it, you are emotional weighed down.  You even start concluding perhaps something is wrong with you; maybe some sort of generational curses have plaqued and have caught up with you. Naah, don't think that way.

Relax dear one, First I want you to know that you are not alone in this but the character of your mind is important in determining whether or not the timing in which you stay in this phase is shortened or lengthened. Take for instance, there are some ladies that have believed the news that due to more women than men on the surface of the earth, the time has come where one man will help to balance this anomaly by marrying more than three women thereby making them feel its totally okay.  If you belong to this school of thought, then as you think in your heart, so will the unfolding be unto you.

Its important to never believe the world's report.  Listen up, how you see yourself is a function of what you believe. You must never think of yourself as a substitute. See your self as gold, priceless and very rare. That's how Esther saw herself. Despite being in a competition with hundreds of beautiful ladies, she still got a night with the King and made him hers.

You don't see diamonds just any where. They are so hidden that you will need a high degree of heat on its amorphous Carbon, to be able to get even a tiny piece out. No matter how the world portrays men to be scares, and even good men even more scares, when you see yourself as priceless, your Prince will gravitate towards you.

Abraham married just one woman, Sarah.  And don't think in their days, there were less women than men, NO! As a matter of fact, It was the other way round as seen recorded in the book of Genesis just as it is today. So no matter how scares it seems good men are, yours will come, you won't have to share a man with another woman, its not God's idea, not for anyone and certainly not for you.

Another set of ladies I believe need to hear this are the ones who feel they are so hot and can't stop messing around. You keep Dayo as your boyfriend 1, Teslim as your boyfriend 2 and Ebuka as your boyfriend 3, all for various reasons known to you.  You play them so well that they don't even have the slightest clue that they are being three-timed (cos that's what they equally do).

Some others, is the married men they can't keep their hands off. Your excuse is that after all, they can't marry you. All you need is for them to take care of you and cover your bills while you provide for them forbidden sex hoping that one day you will get someone who you're gonna tie the knot with and be happy. I laugh in Swahili. It doesn't work that way. Haven't you heard what they say Karma is?

Dear one, I understand in some cases, you were driven into this kind of life due to you having to give up on love as someone shattered your heart down memory lane, but denying yourself true happiness by not living right isn't going to make things any better, its not going to help you in any way.

You admire beautiful couples and solid marriages and hope one day, yours will be too. It will only when you start working towards it. Beautiful marriages just don't happen, it takes a kind of commitment that begins when you are single, focused and driven with right information as concerns your emotional happiness. Don't be the reason why another woman or family is shattered because there are always crave consequences. Making up your mind, retracing your steps and holding unto God's mercy will give you healing and another chance to do the right thing.


The third set of ladies are those who can't be attractive long enough to not only hold a man's gaze but also his decision to make them theirs for life.  What do I mean by that? I mean ladies who need behavioural modification.  No doubt they are very pretty, make statements with their dressing,  makeup and accessories every single time you come across them but their character is like a stench so strong that keeps serious and good men away. For them, attracting the opposite sex is as easy as snapping their fingers, even the same sex are appreciates their look but everything goes awfully wrong when you tend to get close to them.

A bad character would always show itself. Its not something one can pretend about because someone's personality is the summation of their character. Having a sweet character is so important to us that we even recognize it as one of the principal requirements of trust, and trust is the essential prerequisite for all meaningful relationships. You can't have a nasty character and expect suitors to come asking for you hand in marriage. If there is any thing called men want in their homes, its peace of mind. A person without character already indicates lack of peace and tranquility in a home.


Enough is enough dear One. Aren't you tired of the same thing happening to you time and time again? Do you not see the hand writing on the wall? Common, you know you are pretty, have got the right statistics but you don't seem to hold a meaningful relationship for too long. Trust me you need help. One of the attributes of a bad character is pride. It doesn't want you to humble yourself to get help because once you do, it starts loosening it grip on you. You can listen and take advice to unlearn relearn but more importantly, making up your mind to become a sweet person, we all have what it takes to be. We all are love creatures.

Hey Girl, there are still quite a lot I would want to say to you but it can't be exhastive in this post but I would like to encourage you with something I got really encourage back then as a single. Its a poem written by Janette Iks. I sure hope it makes sense to you as it did to me few years ago.


So it seemed,
that it was cool,
for everyone to be in a relationship but me.

So I took matters into my own hands
and… ended up with him.
him, who displayed the characteristics of a
cheater, a liar, an abuser, and a thief.

So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac-arrested for
aiding and abetting,
’cause it was me who let him in,
claiming we were “just friends.”

It was already decided for me by the first date that
even if he wasn’t,
I was gonna make him “the One.”

You know… I was tired of being alone,
and I simply made up in my mind,
that it was about that time
so I decided to drag him along for the ride,
’cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

A virgin in the physical,
but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat,
who was tired of the wait,
so I was gonna make him “the One.”

he had a… form of Godliness,
but not much.

But, but, hey, hey, I can change him,
so I’ll take him, I mean he’s close…
enough.

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter,
not knowing the value of it’s used to be. (use to me?)
Arteries so clogged with my will,
it blocked HIS will from flowing through me.
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
that flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back.

Through my ignorance, He saw,
so through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
to transplant Psalms 51:10,
a new heart
& a renewed right spirit within.
So now, I fully understand,
better yet, I thoroughly comprehend,
how much I need to wait
for You.

See,
the bad thing is
that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning.
’cause in the beginning was the Word
and he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
and all he could whisper was
sweet,
empty
nothings–
which meant nothing !

he couldn’t even have prayed when I needed him to,
asking him to fast would be absurd,
so, forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word.

But I know you,
you are already praying for me.
Even never having met me,
let me assure you,
I will wait
for you.

I will no longer date,
socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
to appease my boredom
or to quench my thirsty desire I have for attention and short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas.’

You know, he ‘sorta kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name: Luke,
his last name: Warm.

Aye,
I won’t settle for false companionship.
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
attempting to find some closeness,
but never feeling so far, far apart
’cause, I just wanna be held.
♫ ‘Cause all I gotta do is say♫
“No!”

No more ‘almost sessions’ of
‘almost coming close’
passing winks & buying drinks,
and ♫I’ma,
I’ma,
I’ma flirt!♫
Who flirts with the ideology of,
“Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?”

No more.

I’ll stay in my bed,
alone,
and write poems,
about how I will wait for You.

he won’t even come close,
our fingers won’t even interlock,
we won’t even exchange breath,
’cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighted (waited?) down,
from so-called friends & family talks,
about the concern for my biological clock
when I serve the Author of Time.
Who is not subject to time,
but I’m subject to Him.
He has the ability to stop, fast-forward, pause, or rewind at any given time.
So,
if we could role play,
you would be Abraham & I would be Sara,
or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca–a servant’s answered prayer.
I am
bone of your bone,
flesh of your flesh,
made up of your rib, Adam.

And once we meet,
like electrons, I will be bound to your nucleus,
completely indivisible
atom.

We even speak the same math:
1 + 1 + 1 = 3,
which really equals 1 if you add Him.

We were all created in His image,
but you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect
the Son.
If I were to explain what you look like,
you would have to look like a star–
a sun of the Son.
I would gain energy simply from the light that you shine on me.
I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis.
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis,
I will wait for you.

And I will know you
because when you speak,
I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
your faith will remind me of Abraham,
your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
your heart for God will remind me of David,
your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
and your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
but your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews
or any special marks,
’cause His Word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me,
and you will find me,
where
the boldness of Esther
meets the warm closeness of Ruth,
where the hospitality of Lydia
is aligned with the submission of Mary,
which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one,
drenched in Proverbs 31,
waiting for you.

But to my Father,
my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth,
only if You should see fit.

I desire Your will above mine.
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
my heart is content with You–the One who was sent.
You are the greatest love story ever told,
the greatest love ever known.
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness,
and I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business.

I will always be Yours,
and I will always wait for You, Lord.
More than the watchmen wait for the morning,
more than the watchmen wait for the morning,
I will wait.


Your Love Coach, 
@thelovejunkie.