OF LOVE, SEX AND A BALANCED DIET.

I love beautiful beginnings, at least everyone does. Whenever I see a couple getting married, I always want to have a good look at them both to tell if they compliment each other physically ; what I call the code of Songs of Solomon.

What I mean by that is whether they both have a heavy dose of romantic love for each other,  yes you heard me right, Romantic love also known as Eros can not be overemphasized in the trio of Love, Sex and Marriage.

Infact, let me quickly advise here if perhaps you are considering asking someone to be your wife or you are conceiving the idea of wanting to strike a cord with the opposite sex, after you have confirmed if such a person understands that Love is a decision, a choice,  then go ahead and read the whole book of Songs of Solomon ( infact make sure you use the Message translation, there's a reason lol) and while reading, replace the name of the man or the lady with that of your friend (lover or fiance as the case may be).

If the muscles around your pelvic region isn't contracting, if your spine isn't firing,  if a kind of subtle electric charge that brings sweetness isn't charging you up or let me simply say the way we say it,  if the hair on your head isn't plaiting 'dada' then, just hold it right there. Don't even continue and try to force it. Something is obviously wrong and it won't help you in the long run.

Eros; Sexual love in a relationship that would lead to marriage is of the essence and interestingly that's why an entire book of the Bible was written; devoted to love, romance and sexuality in marriage.  I understand why this has made many view it as the main substance of Love that makes a relationship or marriage work because it's that powerful and intense but truthfully, it doesn't make marriage work on its own.

Well, let's hold on a bit about Agape but let's go all out  the expression of Agape that has got fire, sparks and everything blazing which makes Agape fun and interesting. It's important I stress this because many might think as long as the opposite sex who they are hoping to start something serious with, is deep in Agape, knows and truly fears the Lord, then the feelings or attractions would definitely come. NO, it won't if it wasn't there in the first place or you were to carried away with whatever that you didn't realize it on time. 


It's no news that some people say their love story was a love at first sight. They can say that because the attraction, and romantic feelings was so overwhelming when they initially met.  For some, it led to their happily ever after; a marriage that worked mainly because the two involved had to discover the true worth of their relationship along the way, laying it's foundation on the main substances that makes a marriage tick such as commitment, tolerance, loyalty, trust, agreement on life's issues, compatibility on all levels (at least most) while for others, they thought such romantic feelings was strong enough (as it was from beginning) to make their marriage work but got the shocker of their lives when it didn't and went their separate ways.

You see, for a union to have the a sweet romantic flavour continuously, there has got to be a balance of all love's expression especially of Eros, the sexual expression of Love as well as Phileo, the expression of love that explains the bond of solid friendship. Speaking of sexual love, in marriage it is the bond for couples.  Sex was created mainly because of a husband and his wife. It is the glue of marital intimacy. When God created man and gave him a wife, sex was the cleaving substance. There can never be an awesome marriage without awesome sex.

Sex is the food of marriage. Let no one deceive you, sex is FOOD. Imagine the joy when you are so famished and then you are served with a well prepared delicious plate of your favorite meal, that's something you won't trade for. After a couple of hours, you become hungry again and when that another delicious meal is given to you, you dive in with joy and gladness, your mouth watering, not even recounting that you had same experience few hours ago. It's the same with Sex.

Sex is to be served hot, spicy and delicious to our spouses every  time they desire us and that attribute which makes this possible again and again, not minding how many times we might have had it previously is EROS ; the sensual love, feelings or intoxicating passions that we have towards our partners.  It is what gives a balanced diet on the marriage bed. Even Scriptures validates this...

19  As a loving hind and a gentle doe, let her breasts ever give you rapture; let your passion at all times be moved by her love. Prov 5.(BBE)


In conclusion, the presence of Agape is awesome but it's more intriguing when Eros is also present. Being in love with your partner is different from choosing to love, as much as the latter is the real deal, the former is also important for a robust sex life. There's more to sex than the exchange of body fluids or the intense pleasure it gives,scripture says and I quote...


4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1 Cor 7. (KJV)

This explains the intense physical, emotional and spiritual connect that a couple exhibit when they have consummated their marriage. It's only on the basis of sex that an individual has authority over another's body and nothing else, that's how powerful sex is.  Sex can and should be enjoyed maximally between spouses as long as they are committed to each other continuously in the bond of marriage, trust and integrity; keep falling in love with each other daily by doing everything it takes to enhance their passions towards each other and lastly, be spontaneous and unpredictable.



Your Love Coach, 
@thelovejunkie